OCD

Obsessive-compulsive disorder. My wife, who has great insight into human behavior, likes to say I have some OCD going on. I looked it up in the DSM and I don't think so. But maybe I just have OCD with poor insight. I don't see the compulsive part at all, but you be the judge. We are often Strangers to Ourselves (the title of a great book by Timothy Wilson, which was the inspiration for Malcolm Gladwell's Blink, the latter of which I believe was legitimately criticized by Robert Burton in On Being Certain)....(I wish I could remember what that criticism was; this getting old stuff is not for perfectionists.)

Now, OCD personality disorder is another matter. "Shows perfectionism that interferes with task completion." Although I wrote several 50-60 page papers in grad school, I never finished my dissertation. My advisor kept telling me I didn't have to write a publishable book but I didn't really get it. Then I chose a topic that nobody could have written a coherent exposition of, Critical Legal Studies, because the movement itself was incoherent. Oh well. I didn't really want to be a teacher anyway and what else can you do with a philosophy degree?

Maybe that explains getting obsessed with the financial crisis and reading a gob of books and articles on it. Oh yeh, I did that with health care reform, too. Before that it was reading history. At one point, it was my work. Luckily, I didn't really want to be a lawyer, either, so I chose to specialize in one area which had interesting stuff about medicine--disability law. But the good thing about being OCD is that I tried to read everything and figure out everything about it. That is what a real education does. I know many lawyers who never try to figure things out. But they can fool a lot of innocent clients. Kind of reminds me of time-share salesmen.

Golf is another example. I played as a kid and then didn't take it up until age 43. Immediately got obsessed and improved greatly for a period of time before I actually started getting worse (golf is amazing that way). Or skiing. I didn't ski until I was almost 30 but then within a year ended up moving to Utah working in a ski resort and skiing every day. Despite having new skis and boots, I didn't ski at all this year.

Maybe I'll figure this out some day but I gotta go wash my hands.